Is it a crisis or just acceptance?

...I guess it could be both, but it is what brought me here and finding the need to write things down as a way of getting it out of my system.

I think the common misconception of 'middle aged crisis' is fast cars, motorbike licences and buying expensive things...those things are just because you have more money as you get older so can afford to buy them, they are not tell tale signs of a crisis.

So what is?

Well for me it was turning 49 and having the sudden realisation that I had lived more weekends than I ever would again! NOW THAT IS A CRISIS!

Is it the impending big birthday causing this? Probably.

Does the fact that I constantly talk about being 50 in a few months make it better? Hell no!

Does the fast car, motorbike or nice things I have help? No, but in fairness I've had them a while.

Am I looking for a way out of this rut? Not really, I'm stuck and waiting for something to fall in my lap and in the process am making everyone around me that I love miserable, including me. All I know is that I have to do something and find a way out of this, but I have no idea what...maybe this will help.